…and look fun in the face! — I went to see a cosmetic surgeon yesterday. The man asked me why I’d come. I said I wasn’t happy with how I look. ‘Well,’ the surgeon explained, ‘we have a motto: It’s not what it is, but how it looks that matters.’ ‘Sorry?’ I asked. ‘It’s not what it…

…and he gave me my life story! — So I went to my doctor recently, and said I’d been having pains in my left ankle. ‘‘Now tell me,’’ he said scratching his chin, ‘‘when this occurs, do you get a twinge in your right shoulder?’’ ‘‘That’s amazing,’’ I replied, ‘‘yes I do.’’ ‘‘Great,’’ he said, ‘‘now we’re getting…

An idler’s tale — So there I was: minding my own business, and watching Mary across the road through my binoculars. She is one of those strange people who have nothing better to do than peer through her curtains. ‘I know what Mary’s doing’, I thought to myself, ‘she’s glaring at the car parked…